I'm kind of stuck with some issues of my own. About a year ago, I lent my friend about $2,000. You might ask me "WHY??" because $2,000 is a lot of money for a guy like me to be lending somebody else. What's worse, I lent it to a friend who I didn't even know well, and, I didn't even manage to find out what that friend of mine needed the money for.
Kind of stupid right? Many people have been telling me that it was not a very smart thing to do, because what are the chances of me getting back the money? Well, in my defense, all I can say is that I think he really needed it for something important. I tried asking that friend about it, he just told me "personal matters". Guess I got to respect his privacy? No sense right? If I'm lending him money, he should at least have the courtesy to tell me what it's for. Because, if it was used for gambling, I would not even think of lending him in the first place. But I figured it was probably for school fees, because he had just got into NUS.
Anyway, he returned me $300 a few months ago when I asked him to because I needed the money to upgrade my computer. So I think he's a pretty reliable guy I guess. But this doesn't end here. Just about a month ago, I bumped into my secondary school friend at some supper place. We chatted for a while and exchanged numbers. A few days later, he sent me a message asking to borrow $300 for a mission trip. How can I say no? I mean, it's for a mission trip and deny him the chance of going for one would be a disadvantage to him right? So I agreed.
Looking back, perhaps I was too rash on my part. Because I didn't even bother to find out whether what he was telling me was true. I don't know if he did go for the mission trip in the end, or if there was even a mission trip organised by his church. Oh well, I'm too trusting I guess.
So right now, I have a total of $2,000 with other people. The guy who borrowed $300 from me has yet to repay me. I tried asking him recently, but he just gave excuses. Don't know whether to believe him, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. I'm kind of stuck now in this situation and don't know whether it will all turn out good.
In Exodus 22:25- 27 it says, "If you lend money to one of my people among you who is needy, do not be like a moneylender; charge him no interest. 26 If you take your neighbor's cloak as a pledge, return it to him by sunset, 27 because his cloak is the only covering he has for his body. What else will he sleep in? When he cries out to me, I will hear, for I am compassionate."
Yup, I am charging no interest because I feel it's just wrong to do so. However, how does this gain me at all? Right now I'm just worried over whether I will get the money back. Zzz... what have I done to deserve this. I was only trying to HELP.
God, why do people with good intentions always end up having so much trouble. WHY.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Sunday, August 26, 2007
The Joy of Carrying
Today's the first day I carried Kayli! In fact, today is the first day I ever carried a baby! YESSS! I tell you, it's an awesome feeling. At first, I was really scared to carry her because I've never carried any baby before. All this while I had been putting it off, giving excuses that I couldn't carry her. However, I told myself today that I had to carry her. She's already one month old, shame on me if I haven't even carried my niece once!
Really, I felt really happy having her in my arms. She was awake for a while, her eyes so small and innocent. Really struck a chord in me. I guess I'm a sucker for cuteness. And I'm pretty sure she was really comfortable in my arms because after a short while, she went to sleep. It's really interesting to see her sleep because she looks so peaceful, oblivious to anything that's happening around.
I carried her for about 10 mins or so, before handing her over to my mom, who for some reason, always wants to carry her. Guess she is just overjoyed at being a grandmother. Even so, because her first grand child is a girl. You see, in my family, all of us are boys except our mom. So, having a girl in the family is a really special treat. I am SO sure she's going to be the centre of attraction for a very very long time.
All in all, this phrase that I'll take for today is this: (while carrying Kayli in my arms) "As long as she doesn't cry, everything is ok." Indeed, she never cried when she was in my arms. Wonderful.
Really, I felt really happy having her in my arms. She was awake for a while, her eyes so small and innocent. Really struck a chord in me. I guess I'm a sucker for cuteness. And I'm pretty sure she was really comfortable in my arms because after a short while, she went to sleep. It's really interesting to see her sleep because she looks so peaceful, oblivious to anything that's happening around.
I carried her for about 10 mins or so, before handing her over to my mom, who for some reason, always wants to carry her. Guess she is just overjoyed at being a grandmother. Even so, because her first grand child is a girl. You see, in my family, all of us are boys except our mom. So, having a girl in the family is a really special treat. I am SO sure she's going to be the centre of attraction for a very very long time.
All in all, this phrase that I'll take for today is this: (while carrying Kayli in my arms) "As long as she doesn't cry, everything is ok." Indeed, she never cried when she was in my arms. Wonderful.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Some people just don't get it.
It's been a pretty long day for me today. Had to wake up earlier than i usually do because my dad could not fetch me to school this morning, coupled with the fact that i was still sick and recovering. I actually had half the mind to just leave the lecture during the break, but told myself that it would just be a waste of my school fees by doing so.
Anyway, had BATS at night. I must admit that i was not concentrating for most of it because of my sickness. Anyway, a few of us went for supper after that.
Supper was ok. I had some pratas and took a hot drink in hopes that it would make my coughing subside. I guess it worked to a certain extent. However, i think i was particularly moody because i was sick. Anyway, the thing that really pissed me off was when i was supposed to drop people off after supper.
Here's my view. I am doing people a favour by sending them either home, or to a more convenient place to take a bus. So, i told Dom that i would drop him off somewhere near Serangoon MRT because the route i was taking would not take me directly past the MRT. Then, Dom got all fussy and pissed because according to him, he had a long day at work, and did not want to walk. EXCUSE ME, i am already driving you somewhere closer. It's not like i let you walk all the way from the supper place to the MRT, and here you are pissed off at me? I am driving the freaking car, i have to bear the patrol costs because i feel really bad for using the car and letting my dad top the petrol up. And here you are, telling me to drop you off exactly at the MRT when it isn't even on the way because i was dropping off someone else elsewhere.
I really could not see the logic behind his rational. What really bothered me was that he was actually pissed of at it. So i dropped him off somewhere near, and he just stomped off, not bothering to look back, even though he had left his waterbottle in the car. Took us several shouting attempts to get his attention to come back and take it. His face was black i tell you. I really can't stand it because he probably only thinks of his own comfort and not others. I had my reasons for not being able to drop him off exactly at the MRT. Yet he failed to see it, or rather, he just wanted it his own way. I really don't understand.
Yea, so that's how my day ended. What a shitty way to end the day.
Anyway, had BATS at night. I must admit that i was not concentrating for most of it because of my sickness. Anyway, a few of us went for supper after that.
Supper was ok. I had some pratas and took a hot drink in hopes that it would make my coughing subside. I guess it worked to a certain extent. However, i think i was particularly moody because i was sick. Anyway, the thing that really pissed me off was when i was supposed to drop people off after supper.
Here's my view. I am doing people a favour by sending them either home, or to a more convenient place to take a bus. So, i told Dom that i would drop him off somewhere near Serangoon MRT because the route i was taking would not take me directly past the MRT. Then, Dom got all fussy and pissed because according to him, he had a long day at work, and did not want to walk. EXCUSE ME, i am already driving you somewhere closer. It's not like i let you walk all the way from the supper place to the MRT, and here you are pissed off at me? I am driving the freaking car, i have to bear the patrol costs because i feel really bad for using the car and letting my dad top the petrol up. And here you are, telling me to drop you off exactly at the MRT when it isn't even on the way because i was dropping off someone else elsewhere.
I really could not see the logic behind his rational. What really bothered me was that he was actually pissed of at it. So i dropped him off somewhere near, and he just stomped off, not bothering to look back, even though he had left his waterbottle in the car. Took us several shouting attempts to get his attention to come back and take it. His face was black i tell you. I really can't stand it because he probably only thinks of his own comfort and not others. I had my reasons for not being able to drop him off exactly at the MRT. Yet he failed to see it, or rather, he just wanted it his own way. I really don't understand.
Yea, so that's how my day ended. What a shitty way to end the day.
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Life is short
Dammit i'm sick today. Must be all the durians i ate last night zzz. Anyway, i'm down with a cold and it's really irritating. I kinda feel like my head is emitting heat and just tired.
I just read the newspapers too, and there was this article on "coping with sudden loss" or something to that extent. What it basically wrote about was that unexpected things can happen. Like how this 17 year old guy from Raffles JC suddenly just died after running in a Triathlon competition. Doctors say that he died of heart failure, though they had no clue as to why it happened so suddenly. Bottom line - anything can happen to you at anytime. Life is short.
This got me thinking about my own life too. I've had my fair share of running in competitions and i even recently participated in a 10km run. Thank God nothing happened to me there. But i guess anything could have happened.
So, if i were to die today, would there be anything i would regret having done, or not having done for that matter? I guess i still have many things that i want to do. Like how i want to get married, how i want to raise a family, how i want to get an interesting job for myself, how i wanna hang out with friends, how i want to be someone, how i want to be a blessing to others etc. the list goes on.
I guess everything lies in the hands of God. Whether i die today, tomorrow or whenever, it's up to him. I really want to make the most of this little time i have here on earth. I know i know, it all sounds kinda cliche, saying that we only have so much time to live, use it wisely etc. But isn't it true? I don't wanna live life knowing that i could have accomplished more, experienced more etc. God, help me to find out what it is you want me to do in this life. I wanna be of use to you.
Life is short. Make full use of it.
I just read the newspapers too, and there was this article on "coping with sudden loss" or something to that extent. What it basically wrote about was that unexpected things can happen. Like how this 17 year old guy from Raffles JC suddenly just died after running in a Triathlon competition. Doctors say that he died of heart failure, though they had no clue as to why it happened so suddenly. Bottom line - anything can happen to you at anytime. Life is short.
This got me thinking about my own life too. I've had my fair share of running in competitions and i even recently participated in a 10km run. Thank God nothing happened to me there. But i guess anything could have happened.
So, if i were to die today, would there be anything i would regret having done, or not having done for that matter? I guess i still have many things that i want to do. Like how i want to get married, how i want to raise a family, how i want to get an interesting job for myself, how i wanna hang out with friends, how i want to be someone, how i want to be a blessing to others etc. the list goes on.
I guess everything lies in the hands of God. Whether i die today, tomorrow or whenever, it's up to him. I really want to make the most of this little time i have here on earth. I know i know, it all sounds kinda cliche, saying that we only have so much time to live, use it wisely etc. But isn't it true? I don't wanna live life knowing that i could have accomplished more, experienced more etc. God, help me to find out what it is you want me to do in this life. I wanna be of use to you.
Life is short. Make full use of it.
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Durian Liew Lian
Today was family day for our church. The main event was Captain's Ball, where we were divided into 4 teams - the adults, the ATBA cum BATS cum BAYA, BAY Team 1 and BAY Team 2. All in all we had a fun time. Our team (ATBA cum BATS cum BAYA) won overall. Kinda cheapo though, cause we had ALL the really zai people. Oh well, bottom line is we all had fun right?
Anyway, after the event, a few of us hung around after the catered dinner, trying to decide what else we could do. In the end, we came to the conclusion to have supper! haha, something which i do often. I've been going out for suppers so regularly that i kinda get sian of it, so we decided this time to eat something different. Guess what we decided on... DURIANS! hahahaha
So we met up at 11pm first of all for our appetizer, which consisted of dim sum and ba chor mee. We were already starting to get full. But like i said, appetizer. The main course was still up ahead. DURIANS!!! haha... we bought $80 worth of durians and mangosteens. Those present were Pei En, Me, Dan Loh, Tien En, Gavin, Nick, Serene Graham and Dominic. So the nine of us sat there, somewhere near the famous Punggol Nasi Lemak place, eating our Durians and Mangosteens.
I must say we got pretty full fast. And of course, the infamous number game had to be played. It was kinda humorous because in the end, only Tien En and Dan Loh ate. Dan Loh made a 1 in a 1000 probability guess in one try. Respect hahah.
I on the other hand, must have got pretty high because of the lateness. It was my first time after a long time eating Mangosteen too, and i must admit, it tastes pretty damn good (aside from the fact that you have to peel it yourself). All in all, it was a good day. I think durians make a great supper mean, though the price can get a little high. Oh well, eating durians once in a blue moon should be alright.
Now i gotta sleep and worry about tomorrow. Sore throat, please stay away.
Anyway, after the event, a few of us hung around after the catered dinner, trying to decide what else we could do. In the end, we came to the conclusion to have supper! haha, something which i do often. I've been going out for suppers so regularly that i kinda get sian of it, so we decided this time to eat something different. Guess what we decided on... DURIANS! hahahaha
So we met up at 11pm first of all for our appetizer, which consisted of dim sum and ba chor mee. We were already starting to get full. But like i said, appetizer. The main course was still up ahead. DURIANS!!! haha... we bought $80 worth of durians and mangosteens. Those present were Pei En, Me, Dan Loh, Tien En, Gavin, Nick, Serene Graham and Dominic. So the nine of us sat there, somewhere near the famous Punggol Nasi Lemak place, eating our Durians and Mangosteens.
I must say we got pretty full fast. And of course, the infamous number game had to be played. It was kinda humorous because in the end, only Tien En and Dan Loh ate. Dan Loh made a 1 in a 1000 probability guess in one try. Respect hahah.
I on the other hand, must have got pretty high because of the lateness. It was my first time after a long time eating Mangosteen too, and i must admit, it tastes pretty damn good (aside from the fact that you have to peel it yourself). All in all, it was a good day. I think durians make a great supper mean, though the price can get a little high. Oh well, eating durians once in a blue moon should be alright.
Now i gotta sleep and worry about tomorrow. Sore throat, please stay away.
Friday, August 3, 2007
Five Loaves Two Fishes. A Father's Love.
I bought tickets to go see Corrinne May at the UCC. But before that, i planned to meet my brother and jane at Clementi MRT.
As i stood in the crowded bus no. 52, listening to my MP3 and just stoning, i couldn't help but notice this family that was just in front of me. A mom, dad, and their baby girl, about 3 years old i think. She is DAMN cute ok... and she was sleeping, which probably made her look even more cuter.
However, what struck me most was not that fact that she looked so damn cute while sleeping soundly on her father's lap. Instead, i was just touched by how her dad took so much care of her as she slept. It was about 5 and the sun was pretty hot. Her father knew this, so he put his bag in front of his little girl, protecting her from the sun's hot rays.
As i looked at this, it kinda reminded me of God's love for not only me, but for his people. Here, i saw a glimpse of a father's love for her daughter. I can only imagine what our Father in heaven would actually do for us to show his love. Or for that matter, what he has already done for us to show how much he loved and loves us. Damn, it was a really touching sight.
Anyway, the concert was SUPERB. I love the way the musicians and the orchestra that accompanied her knew exactly their parts. They did not play more or less, but exactly what they had to play. It was great and the sound was perfect.
A particular song she sang caught my attention. Lyrically, it was touching to the bone. It was a song about Five Loaves and Two Fishes. The story of how Jesus fed 5,000 people who were listening to him giving the sermon on the mount. The lyrics goes like this:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A little boy of thirteen was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing and he went to take a look
Thousands were listening to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom, even the kids could understand
The hours passed so quickly the day turned into night
Everyone was hungry but there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox at the little that he had
He wasn't sure what good it'd do, there were thousands to be fed
Chorus 1:
"Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will, I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all to feed them all"
I often think about that boy when i'm feeling small
And worry that the work i do means nothing at all
But every single tear i cry is a diamond in His hands
And every door that slams in my face I will offer up in prayer
So I'll give you every breath i have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All you need is my "Amen"
Chorus 2:
Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will, I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
You can use it all, I hope it's not too small
Bridge:
I trust in you
I trust in you
Chorus 3:
So take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will, I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all, no gift is too small
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What i love about this song is that it talks about a boy who only had five loaves and two fishes. He knew that it wasn't enough to feed all 5,000 people, but he still gave it to Jesus, because he trusted in him.
In the same way, we might not have much to offer God. However, with whatever we have, we should still offer it up to God. I guess it can be surprising what He can do with the little that we have.
Lord, bless me like you blessed that little kid.
As i stood in the crowded bus no. 52, listening to my MP3 and just stoning, i couldn't help but notice this family that was just in front of me. A mom, dad, and their baby girl, about 3 years old i think. She is DAMN cute ok... and she was sleeping, which probably made her look even more cuter.
However, what struck me most was not that fact that she looked so damn cute while sleeping soundly on her father's lap. Instead, i was just touched by how her dad took so much care of her as she slept. It was about 5 and the sun was pretty hot. Her father knew this, so he put his bag in front of his little girl, protecting her from the sun's hot rays.
As i looked at this, it kinda reminded me of God's love for not only me, but for his people. Here, i saw a glimpse of a father's love for her daughter. I can only imagine what our Father in heaven would actually do for us to show his love. Or for that matter, what he has already done for us to show how much he loved and loves us. Damn, it was a really touching sight.
Anyway, the concert was SUPERB. I love the way the musicians and the orchestra that accompanied her knew exactly their parts. They did not play more or less, but exactly what they had to play. It was great and the sound was perfect.
A particular song she sang caught my attention. Lyrically, it was touching to the bone. It was a song about Five Loaves and Two Fishes. The story of how Jesus fed 5,000 people who were listening to him giving the sermon on the mount. The lyrics goes like this:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A little boy of thirteen was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing and he went to take a look
Thousands were listening to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom, even the kids could understand
The hours passed so quickly the day turned into night
Everyone was hungry but there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox at the little that he had
He wasn't sure what good it'd do, there were thousands to be fed
Chorus 1:
"Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will, I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all to feed them all"
I often think about that boy when i'm feeling small
And worry that the work i do means nothing at all
But every single tear i cry is a diamond in His hands
And every door that slams in my face I will offer up in prayer
So I'll give you every breath i have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All you need is my "Amen"
Chorus 2:
Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will, I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
You can use it all, I hope it's not too small
Bridge:
I trust in you
I trust in you
Chorus 3:
So take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will, I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all, no gift is too small
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What i love about this song is that it talks about a boy who only had five loaves and two fishes. He knew that it wasn't enough to feed all 5,000 people, but he still gave it to Jesus, because he trusted in him.
In the same way, we might not have much to offer God. However, with whatever we have, we should still offer it up to God. I guess it can be surprising what He can do with the little that we have.
Lord, bless me like you blessed that little kid.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Started a Blog cause i had so much on my mind.
I just decided to have this blog because i really want to write down the things i am thinking about...
Just recently read the newspapers. At the moment, there's this news about 23 Korean aid helpers who got caught by the Talibans in Afghanistan. I really don't know what to think.
Here are 23 Koreans, just thinking of helping out by providing aid reliefs and stuff, and this is what they get. Currently, already 2 of them have been killed. HOW IS THIS FAIR.
You know, as i read the news article on the Straits Times, i couldn't help but just cry. Life is so unfair. This should not be happening. WTH is happening with this earth. I couldn't help but recall a song that i've recently heard from one of the albums that i have. It's by MercyMe. The song is called Hold Fast, and the lyrics goes something like this:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To everyone who's hurting
To those who've had enough
To all the undeserving
That should cover all of us
Please do not let go
I promise there is hope
Hold fast
Help is on the way
Hold fast
He's come to save the day
What I've learned in my life
One thing greater than my strife
Is His grasp
So hold fast
Will this season ever pass?
Can we stop this ride?
Will we see the sun at last?
Or could this be our lot in life?
Please do not let go
I promise you there's hope
You may think you're all alone
And there's no way that anyone could know
What you're going through
But if you only hear one thing
Just understand that we are all the same
Searching for the truth
The truth of what we're soon to face
Unless someone comes to take our place
Is there anyone?
All we want is to be free
Free from our captivity, Lord
Here He comes
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Right now i'm hurting, even though this matter doesn't even involve me. I feel sadness for the 2 Koreans that have lost their lives and yet at the same time, i feel hate for their captors. Injustice. However, i know that i shouldn't respond by hating the Talibans and what not. It's not what God would want. But it's seriously going to be damn hard not hating them :(
I'm reminded that we are all sinners. We have all sinned. I'm probably just as bad as anyone else. Everyone deserves a chance? I can only imagine what would happen if God thought like that i am thinking right now. I think the whole human race would be WIPED. Therefore, i'm glad that God is God, and i am not. Save us all from this situation.
I guess all I can do is to pray. Pray for the remaining 21 who are still alive. Pray for their captors to wake up their idea and stop killing people. I don't know. God help me love.
Just recently read the newspapers. At the moment, there's this news about 23 Korean aid helpers who got caught by the Talibans in Afghanistan. I really don't know what to think.
Here are 23 Koreans, just thinking of helping out by providing aid reliefs and stuff, and this is what they get. Currently, already 2 of them have been killed. HOW IS THIS FAIR.
You know, as i read the news article on the Straits Times, i couldn't help but just cry. Life is so unfair. This should not be happening. WTH is happening with this earth. I couldn't help but recall a song that i've recently heard from one of the albums that i have. It's by MercyMe. The song is called Hold Fast, and the lyrics goes something like this:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To everyone who's hurting
To those who've had enough
To all the undeserving
That should cover all of us
Please do not let go
I promise there is hope
Hold fast
Help is on the way
Hold fast
He's come to save the day
What I've learned in my life
One thing greater than my strife
Is His grasp
So hold fast
Will this season ever pass?
Can we stop this ride?
Will we see the sun at last?
Or could this be our lot in life?
Please do not let go
I promise you there's hope
You may think you're all alone
And there's no way that anyone could know
What you're going through
But if you only hear one thing
Just understand that we are all the same
Searching for the truth
The truth of what we're soon to face
Unless someone comes to take our place
Is there anyone?
All we want is to be free
Free from our captivity, Lord
Here He comes
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Right now i'm hurting, even though this matter doesn't even involve me. I feel sadness for the 2 Koreans that have lost their lives and yet at the same time, i feel hate for their captors. Injustice. However, i know that i shouldn't respond by hating the Talibans and what not. It's not what God would want. But it's seriously going to be damn hard not hating them :(
I'm reminded that we are all sinners. We have all sinned. I'm probably just as bad as anyone else. Everyone deserves a chance? I can only imagine what would happen if God thought like that i am thinking right now. I think the whole human race would be WIPED. Therefore, i'm glad that God is God, and i am not. Save us all from this situation.
I guess all I can do is to pray. Pray for the remaining 21 who are still alive. Pray for their captors to wake up their idea and stop killing people. I don't know. God help me love.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)